Some people wonder what their point is on earth, including myself.
Many times I have told my family that I am only here to make sure they have a roof over their heads, food in their stomach and clothes on their back. I know it hurts them however it hurts me even more. Mainly because I know it isn’t true..I still think about it on and off about what I said and the amount of times that I have said it. The first time I said this I got what I needed to say out and with my eyes starting to water, I left the room, not wanting to let my family know how much pain I was in.
I have heard it over and over watch what you say because words hurt, I have had many words thrown at me, and yes they did hurt. However I have never threw words that hurt me just as bad or worse than the people I have thrown them at.
One night I went to bed of a bad headache, after my wife and I got into a little argument, as she followed me, I made the bed and after we were both in bed, I laid there again with watering eyes from the argument. I told here that I was in so much pain from the headache.
My life has been full of so much pain that crying is very scarce even at a funeral. I am now 43 years and can’t even remember how many I have attended but I can say not one tear was shed.
I have had one time where my son who has made me cry and I mean cry and all it took was three songs. but since then it hasn’t happened.
Point being don’t have a cold heart such as mine, I have had many people try to help break it and. I can help others with their problems or atleast try to help.
This is just one of the songs I heard that my son sent to me and after listening to it, I had to relisten to it and holding the headphone tight to my ears to catch the words. Believe me that made me Cry I went to bed and cried, when I finished and regained my composer I opened my eyes and just at that point, the sun appeared in through my bedroom window and shined on a cross that I had bought for my wife.
In spite of all that I just said in this last portion I still cant bring myself back to that day.