More about the Author

I was born in Ft. Farson Colorado. 1972 moved to Ft. Wainwright, Alaska. in 1973. My mom moved to Grand Rapids, Mich. In 1975 dad returned in 1976. Grew up in a home with eight other siblings, which included a mix of brothers and sister from a different mother and fathers. My parents who lived across town from each other and therefore, I began walking the streets at the age five alone to get from one house to the other.  About the age of six, I  was put in the system, where I was then bounced back and between foster homes. The age of thirteen, I was diagnosed with epilepsy, by the time I was seventeen I had married my first wife, graduated high school at nineteen, divorced at twenty one remarried  5-13-1994 which was a Friday to a already made family of one fourteen year who had grown up in a troubled life himself and his two year old sister, had my only son in 2000. First brain surgery for my seizure disorder on 7-8-2008. Continued on with my medical condition for another seven  years, at which time I had a second brain surgery for my medical condition, which I can say and can give all the praise to God has been success to date and giving me the wonderful family who includes a daughter-in-law, another fellow blogger , and a wonderful granddaughter to the daughter who was two at the time. So I want to send a prayer to God:

Dear God
At this time I would like to give you thanks and praise for the wounded life that has been brought among my childhood. Without it I wouldn’t be in the spot I am now and even though it took time and patience and alot of Faith this prayer would be meaningless. I give YOU Thanks for the wonderful family that you have brought into my life. The strength to endure both surgeries and the Almighty hand that allowed the surgeons to not only do what they had to do to correct my medical condition, but also bring me back home to this loving family.

 

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Deepest Thoughts

Our world sends us into deepest thoughts, sometimes looking for answers sought.

This post , may not coincide with the link however in retrospect it does  bring  to mind a day when I decided to move out of my dads house. What he had to say, although I should have been used to his sarcasm, had cut to the bone and hurt had set in so much so that all the pain that  I had sustained through out  my childhood by him came flooding back.

When I told him I was moving out “his comment was to my now wife you have just taken away my piece of machinery.” I felt like Damaged Goods  Now as I was building up anger and rage for the words he threw out he also said to her you can deal with his drinking, seizures, a few other things that made me feel like I was the size of a pea. My wife looked at him and said fine I will.  I thought to myself and before I left I got up enough courage to tell him look you are just mad, because now I am no longer here to clean your house, fix your vehicles, do what you need done, ect and walked out. To this day I still think about it, but the day I confronted him on it, that part of the  anger and rage was gone. my wife and I have been together for now 23 years and we both have come to know that dad has gotten even more feisty with his comments and deal with it in a better aspect and outlook.scan0001

Pain

A recent post written by another blogger  who happens to be one I know personally  has had a difficult way of life. All her life she has had troubles and her latest post deals with the lose of her mother in 2012.

Well their has certainly had her share of struggles and as she felt that she was alone during the time when she lost her mother in Dec. 2012.
The Strength of this blogger is phenomenal.
As I prepared for my brain surgery back in Dec.2015  and everyone in my family had already talked about who was going to go with me for the procedure. I could only take one person. after going through the pros and cons, it was my daughter-in-law who was on the journey with me.

It hadn’t dawned on me and I hadn’t been reminded that  this was also about the same time that her mother had passed away three years prior until after the bus tickets were paid for by a third party.  One night my daughter-in-law spills it all out that she is not only going through the anniversary of her mothers death, but also she is going to be down in  Ann Arbor with me and she doesn’t think she could handle the pressure of having to call home and tell my wife that I didn’t make it out of surgery. So once I find out that this was troubling her, I told her she didn’t have to worry about it because I would be coming home. Needless to say here we are nine months later, she still finds strengths when she needs it. I think they both draw strength from God and within each other they have me for a father and father-in-law.

Beauty Skin Deep

I was recently inspired  by this post that brought me back to another blog site that I once posted to.
However in response to this inspiration that started this post, it begins with the word Beauty.
As I was reading another fellow bloggers post, pertaining to Princesses, I can remember back when my wife and I first got together, this was some twenty three years ago. Now she like all women felt that she had to put on makeup everytime I came over or when we went out. In essences she had to look like a princess. For awhile it was intriguing and wonderful to see come out with makeup hair all done up ect. I would compliment her on this. Then one day after she spent her  time doing her usual ritual as i would call it, she came out, however instead of giving her a compliment, I said we need to talk Dear. She said, What don’t I look beautiful enough anymore?

And here was my response.
You don’t have to put makeup on to look beautiful, sure it was made for that reason some females think they need it and it helps with reassurance when they are complimented by their significant other, i.e. boyfriend, engaged partner, or spouse. However the beauty that makeup gives is only skin deep.

In reference a person can look  like the most beautiful person you have ever come across on the outside, but hold the ugliest, meanest heart that you might find.
There is a flip side to every story however,  there are those who don’t wear makeup and can be the most beautiful  person you would ever come across because of what is inside their heart.

Have you every read the introduction of a book and thought, I am not going to like this book. But read it anyway, only to find out it was the most intriguing book you have read up to that point, and now you are referring it to others you know. I know I have.

Now please don’t get me wrong there are those men out there who think there are everything to a woman, They have money, the build everything that a woman is looking for.
I didn’t want to use this terminology but in today society “Gods’ gift to women”. Believe me I use this term in this aspect only, but there are men that can be the same way they may look handsome or however a woman may describe a man, but sometimes, that man may have the ugliest heart that you can find. So I am not being a sexist here it is the same on both sides. In general if you are looking for the right and long lasting relationship don’t look at the outward appearance of a person look at whats on the inside.

Memories:

My Son wrote a  post

Memory  Lane goes back quite a few years, being the age I am. However  Let’s go back to the year 2014 when I had received word that I was able to go for another brain surgery to correct a seizure disorder. For me it was a no brainer. I talked to my neurologist about where it was going to be. Therein lies the brainer. I  All three hospitals where a distance from home and many of my family was very nervous about the situation. However I had been through it one other time, and myself I looked at it to the point of what do I have to loose. A few more inches of dead brain tissue. I wasn’t worried about the lose of my life. I had alot of faith that I was going to make it back home, and as you can see with the guiding hand of God I am here to write this little piece of memory.

There were and are some disadvantages to that surgery, such as missing a few birthdays due to testings. Lose of some things that I should remember. Headaches that last awhile and a lovely scar shaped like a question mark on the right side of my head.

surgical

I had this surgery on Dec.16-2015 and back home with my daughter-in-law on Dec.18-2015 The best advantage of the whole surgery was the reason for the surgery, after having epilepsy for thirty one years being on medication and one prior surgery in 2008, I can say I haven’t had a seizure since. I am still on medication but at last visit to neurologist we talked about taking me off them. We’ll see what happens in December when I go back.

Tornado The Flip

This post is the flip to Tornado:
As I started out The closer the storm got to the center of town, my wife and I still siting at the table going on about our business her watching tv shows on the computer or other projects. I could see her looking at me over the top of my screen, catching things such as this or out of the corner of my eye can be helpful, especially when you have someone giving you an evil look or just looking at you, makes me wonder what I did or didn’t do.

So as we sat here we started talking and the worried look came about her face. I talked to her and said that if we were going to die then it was are time to go, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to stay here and continue what I was doing. Soon her worried look disappeared as she slipped off into her movie again. Soon we heard that the storm had moved further north, northeast but yet it was heading towards areas where I had family so I called those family members to warn them. There was one family member that got short with me and she said.” I don’t want to talk to you right now “. I knew what she was doing so I let her continue she then said that she was getting prepared for the storm that was heading her way. I responded by saying that’s all I was calling for. Now let me explain my worry for this family member. She is mid 80s’ and lives alone, her husband had just passed away this year, and they had opened their doors to me when I was a teen. Only living with them for a year and a half. I called them mom and dad. In my life once someone allows someone like me to enter their home in the situation such as mine they are not only friend but parents for life.

Oh believe me out of my past comes one other set of parents who came in the same way. Oh don’t get me wrong my biological parents are still alive, and I have a close relationship with them and I called my father who lives further north and was also in the path of a nasty thunderstorm to warn him. My mother lives in town about five miles from me. Now I have picked up other friends I who have called mom and dad, funny situations occurred that caused those to start. I will have to get into more details later in another post.

Parents come in many forms, to protect you from the storms.
Storms consisting of raging downpours to the tossing of  lifes wars
They tell you everything is alright, atleast for tonight
They wake you up in the morning, send you off for schooling
Preparing you for a future life, with a loving wife.

Tornado

The raging side of me continues like the recent storm that carried few tornadoes through Grand Rapids, Mi. among other cities. This storm didn’t have the full effect of the worse of the tornadoes but it knocked out power to thousands of customers. Tore out trees, damaged homes, cars and alike.

As I received the text alert of a tornado warning my wife and I sat at the dining room table on the upper level of the house, listening to the warning sirens blaring in the distance. So we sat for a little while listening to the weather forecast. ( I don’t know about other states but here if a tornado warning is issued for Allegan County, Then Kent County’s Warning system will also go off.) So as we sat  here waiting to find out which way this storms path was going we heard that a tornado had touched down due west of us. I told my wife that I was just going to wait it out and see what happens. If my number is up then so be it. She sat across the table from me looking dumbfounded as if to say excuse me, Why would you say such a thing?, and I gave her a look back as if to say well you’re sitting there across from me so aren’t you saying much the same? OOH the power of silence between a couple that has been together so long can speak volumes, without saying a word. Sometimes our silence can be just as scary as a fierce storm or as gentle as a baby kitten.

There is more silence than words in this house. However she shows plenty of expressions that I have seen to know what she is thinking or feeling. She doesn’t have a very good poker face. I can tell when she hurts physically, or emotionally, her deep scars are there for life, although healed and visibly unnoticed, physically intact, she struggles with inner peace.

My peace is somewhat there, outward scars noticed  expressions unnoticed, physically intact, I am emotionally attached to a point. She can’t tell with me the difference of physical or emotional pain. Many people can’t. I find it better that way.  I find myself  able to handle physical pain more than emotional.

Now some of you maybe wondering how this next paragraph relates to the whole picture, well look at it this way, Lets say a Tornado ripped through a  home and left a path of destruction in it’s wake all of which listed below can be found within this path.

Battle wounds are forever,
Physical wounds leave visible scars, emotional wounds leave invisible wounds which can sometimes lead to visible scars, and more emotional.

Let’s elaborate a few
1. Physical = A person has surgery, a visible scar is left.
2. Emotional = A child looses a mother or father to a tragic death.
3. Emotional = physical – this lose triggers the need to cause physical harm upon oneself
4. Physical = Emotional therein this physical need to induce pain upon oneself to release the emotional pain from which induces emotional pain to others around that person of which has become now emotionally and physically scarred.

Some of which can be very dangerous and detrimental to the health of said person and all involved.

I would rather deal with physical scars they heal faster and less painful!