As I sit here and listen to the weather forecast from my wife laptop across the table I hear about the tornadoes coming across the opposite side of town near Grandville. A tornado had been spotted, and numerous spotted even downtown but not at our local weather station. The right title for the post at hand.
Now as for the rest of this post:
The withered storms I am am referring about are the storms that everyone goes through at some point in their lives. These storms cone come and go just as quick as a small rain shower, to as devastating as an earth quake, volcano eruptions, there are to many to name.
These storms are as vague as someone who bites their tongue over a minor dispute, to major blow out and even worse to major depression, and as high as PTSD. All of which can spell trouble just the same.
It is hard for many to express their lives, inner most battles of Depression.
Myself is no exception.
Depression is an ongoing battle for me, I live and struggle with it daily. sometimes I hide it, other times I let it out, before I blow it out. Which I have done quit a few times in the previous months which wasn’t healthy for me and my family. I know deep down I know because of this I not only hurt them but I also lost trust from some of them as well. As we all know trust is something that is earned, once earned it is hard to keep and even harder to regain once it is lost. Many times so many of our distant history can come back to haunt you which is one thing that happened to me over the last month, while I was gone, that this depression had hit again harder then it did the first time, which was thirty one years ago. I have to let this go just as I did then. I took me some time then, it will take me longer this time but I have to let this go also or it will devastate me worse than I am already. I have always lived with a wall around my heart due to the many disasters that has occurred through out my life. And just as I feel that wall is coming down in one area because of a past issue such as the one referenced above, everything including a better outlook on this past part of my life had been removed just as quick. That part of the wall had been rebuilt again. The trust factor mentioned above had been removed, for this it’s going to take some time for the trust to be rebuilt. Due to age and other factors this may never be rebuilt. I am praying that it does because a grudge should never go unresolved.