Words of Pain

A recent post written by my son, describes about how the pain of harsh words can hurt and even penetrate a invisible brick wall that surrounds a persons heart that has been dealt many blows that one feels they can’t take much more so their only protection is not to get close to anyone.

Some people say telling others how you feel can really help. I found it to be helpful sometimes, if you talk to the right person,  someone who has been through some of the the same things that you have, However sometimes the person you thought was the right person, turns out to be one that will throw a painful word.

I have many areas of pain and the difficulty in dealing with the hurt.

1. Parents, Grandparents: the ultimate pain. There is nothing worse than having a parent Grandparent throw a painful word, short of being shot. I have had it come from both parent and grandparent
Words from siblings (same parents)  10  because they know most of what you went through.

2. Words from siblings ( atleast one different parent) 7.5 the reason for this rating is because they may know some of it but they may have not been told everything, or in my families case, things get added, twisted things that were in there to one was removed when told to the next.

I can continue but I think you get the point

Friends know your situation but will use it when they are mad at you.
Then you have a total stranger, who doesn’t know you from Adam or Eve, comes by and throws a painful blow.
Damn that’s a hard one.
First consider at what point is (s)he talking about is it present,
How far back does this come from and who all knew about it.
If you realize it came from awhile ago then you may want to try to remember if you do know this person, if not then someone you know has ties with them and that is where the source lies. So yes the hurt is there not only because this person just now threw this blow but you also have a more painful heartbreak with the person that they have ties with.

Look at it this way
Have you ever taken a hammer and while trying to hang a picture, hit your thumb are finger. Ouch right That would be a stranger throwing the words, then you say okay forget it I don’t know this person, however this person throws out something that this person shouldn’t know because you don’t know them. Ouch hit the thumb or finger AGAIN.
Because now you know that they heard it from someone that you know. Sooner or later that finger or thumb is going to get broke.
As for me I refer to that type of pain as physical working pain. It happens all the time.

For me my Pain resulted in years of walls being built up so high that I thought there was no way any harsh word could penetrate. But each and everytime I thought I was safe to allow myself to become vulnerable, something would happen to the point where I would just repair the wall that  I had just tore down. Just to start all over again in a few months.

I really should be used to it after 44 years, I still get it and it will continue to come my way as it will to any of you. It is how you handle the situation when it hits you.


6 thoughts on “Words of Pain

  1. Hello, Bic, I’ve noticed that anytime I allow my walls to come down the devil would use a situation or person to hurt me so that I would rebuild the wall again.. Because the devil wants you to be a prisoner of that pain. The trick I have found that works best for me is not to go to that emotional place to add another brick. Instead, I hand that brick over to the Lord and allow Him to do with the brick what He pleases to do with it. This way I no longer have to be held captive by the hurt.

    Oh, one more thing you have to become willing to look past the hurt to understand why the person is hurting you, now not all times will it be known but more often the person hurting you has suffered some kind of trauma in their life as well, and they’re casting their pain onto others.

    I will continue to pray for you in this area of your life!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ok don’t take this the wrong way, you know as well as I can say this you trick may work well for you but it isn’t as easy for me we are both dealing with totally different situations. And dealing with them aren’t as easy as passing the brick. I pass them as they come however before the first one gets out of sight another one is coming right back at me. My next post will explain my thoughts on this response

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The way to relieve the pain, is forgiveness of the offender. We also have to forgive ourselves. So often we have believed lies about ourselves not being valuable. Once we forgive and cry out for God’s help, the walls begin to crumble.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Walls have crumbled and tumbled and I have prayed to let them remain down. Just as I feel that they have been remained down long enough to feel safe that they aren’t going to rebuild. I find they have only in a different aspect with a different person reguarding a different person and more aggressive situations. As far as forgiveness, I can’t necessarily say I have forgotten the situation, but forgiveness doesn’t come easy but it does come

      Liked by 2 people

      • Forgiveness is stamping the offense, PAID IN FULL. You no longer want them to pay for their offense. You let it go and no longer carry the offense. Jesus said if we don’t forgive others, we will not be forgiven. He told a story about a man who owed a billion dollars. He was brought before the master and when he cried for mercy he was forgiven. Then he found a fellow servant that owed him a $1,000 and threw him in prison until he paid all that was owed. The master heard and was angry with the unforgiving servant and threw him into prison where he was tortured. He was told when he was forgiven he should have forgiven the debt of his fellow servant. Unforgiveness brings torment, sleepless nights, bitterness, arthritis and many other awful things. God wants to teach us to let others off the hook, so we can live peaceful lives. I didn’t want to forgive my father and then I found I was doing the exact same things that I had judged him for. Much better to say, paid in full. Otherwise, you relieve the offense and a cloud of darkness and bitterness flows out of you. Move on, forgive-let it go, and let the blessings of God follow you.

        Liked by 2 people

      • As I mentioned in the upper comment Forgiveness doesn’t come easy but it does come and if you look at the Bible Verse I don’t expect, nor do I want them to beg for mercy, however forgiving comes with time, forgetting takes even more time the harder the blow and if it from the same person I had just had a previous situation with, the longer the reaction time for both forgiving and forgetting, it does happen in time , somethings just take longer than others. I am not sure what your situation was with your father, I could write atleast six to eight post in reguards to my life with mine or just refer you back to my other blog sites and you can find some of them. As well as other situations I have dealt with of turmoil that makes forgiveness and forgetting people harder for me to do than others.

        Liked by 1 person

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