Words of Pain

A recent post written by my son, describes about how the pain of harsh words can hurt and even penetrate a invisible brick wall that surrounds a persons heart that has been dealt many blows that one feels they can’t take much more so their only protection is not to get close to anyone.

Some people say telling others how you feel can really help. I found it to be helpful sometimes, if you talk to the right person,  someone who has been through some of the the same things that you have, However sometimes the person you thought was the right person, turns out to be one that will throw a painful word.

I have many areas of pain and the difficulty in dealing with the hurt.

1. Parents, Grandparents: the ultimate pain. There is nothing worse than having a parent Grandparent throw a painful word, short of being shot. I have had it come from both parent and grandparent
Words from siblings (same parents)  10  because they know most of what you went through.

2. Words from siblings ( atleast one different parent) 7.5 the reason for this rating is because they may know some of it but they may have not been told everything, or in my families case, things get added, twisted things that were in there to one was removed when told to the next.

I can continue but I think you get the point

Friends know your situation but will use it when they are mad at you.
Then you have a total stranger, who doesn’t know you from Adam or Eve, comes by and throws a painful blow.
Damn that’s a hard one.
First consider at what point is (s)he talking about is it present,
How far back does this come from and who all knew about it.
If you realize it came from awhile ago then you may want to try to remember if you do know this person, if not then someone you know has ties with them and that is where the source lies. So yes the hurt is there not only because this person just now threw this blow but you also have a more painful heartbreak with the person that they have ties with.

Look at it this way
Have you ever taken a hammer and while trying to hang a picture, hit your thumb are finger. Ouch right That would be a stranger throwing the words, then you say okay forget it I don’t know this person, however this person throws out something that this person shouldn’t know because you don’t know them. Ouch hit the thumb or finger AGAIN.
Because now you know that they heard it from someone that you know. Sooner or later that finger or thumb is going to get broke.
As for me I refer to that type of pain as physical working pain. It happens all the time.

For me my Pain resulted in years of walls being built up so high that I thought there was no way any harsh word could penetrate. But each and everytime I thought I was safe to allow myself to become vulnerable, something would happen to the point where I would just repair the wall that  I had just tore down. Just to start all over again in a few months.

I really should be used to it after 44 years, I still get it and it will continue to come my way as it will to any of you. It is how you handle the situation when it hits you.


More about the Author

I was born in Ft. Farson Colorado. 1972 moved to Ft. Wainwright, Alaska. in 1973. My mom moved to Grand Rapids, Mich. In 1975 dad returned in 1976. Grew up in a home with eight other siblings, which included a mix of brothers and sister from a different mother and fathers. My parents who lived across town from each other and therefore, I began walking the streets at the age five alone to get from one house to the other.  About the age of six, I  was put in the system, where I was then bounced back and between foster homes. The age of thirteen, I was diagnosed with epilepsy, by the time I was seventeen I had married my first wife, graduated high school at nineteen, divorced at twenty one remarried  5-13-1994 which was a Friday to a already made family of one fourteen year who had grown up in a troubled life himself and his two year old sister, had my only son in 2000. First brain surgery for my seizure disorder on 7-8-2008. Continued on with my medical condition for another seven  years, at which time I had a second brain surgery for my medical condition, which I can say and can give all the praise to God has been success to date and giving me the wonderful family who includes a daughter-in-law, another fellow blogger , and a wonderful granddaughter to the daughter who was two at the time. So I want to send a prayer to God:

Dear God
At this time I would like to give you thanks and praise for the wounded life that has been brought among my childhood. Without it I wouldn’t be in the spot I am now and even though it took time and patience and alot of Faith this prayer would be meaningless. I give YOU Thanks for the wonderful family that you have brought into my life. The strength to endure both surgeries and the Almighty hand that allowed the surgeons to not only do what they had to do to correct my medical condition, but also bring me back home to this loving family.



A recent post written by another blogger  who happens to be one I know personally  has had a difficult way of life. All her life she has had troubles and her latest post deals with the lose of her mother in 2012.

Well their has certainly had her share of struggles and as she felt that she was alone during the time when she lost her mother in Dec. 2012.
The Strength of this blogger is phenomenal.
As I prepared for my brain surgery back in Dec.2015  and everyone in my family had already talked about who was going to go with me for the procedure. I could only take one person. after going through the pros and cons, it was my daughter-in-law who was on the journey with me.

It hadn’t dawned on me and I hadn’t been reminded that  this was also about the same time that her mother had passed away three years prior until after the bus tickets were paid for by a third party.  One night my daughter-in-law spills it all out that she is not only going through the anniversary of her mothers death, but also she is going to be down in  Ann Arbor with me and she doesn’t think she could handle the pressure of having to call home and tell my wife that I didn’t make it out of surgery. So once I find out that this was troubling her, I told her she didn’t have to worry about it because I would be coming home. Needless to say here we are nine months later, she still finds strengths when she needs it. I think they both draw strength from God and within each other they have me for a father and father-in-law.

Beauty Skin Deep

I was recently inspired  by this post that brought me back to another blog site that I once posted to.
However in response to this inspiration that started this post, it begins with the word Beauty.
As I was reading another fellow bloggers post, pertaining to Princesses, I can remember back when my wife and I first got together, this was some twenty three years ago. Now she like all women felt that she had to put on makeup everytime I came over or when we went out. In essences she had to look like a princess. For awhile it was intriguing and wonderful to see come out with makeup hair all done up ect. I would compliment her on this. Then one day after she spent her  time doing her usual ritual as i would call it, she came out, however instead of giving her a compliment, I said we need to talk Dear. She said, What don’t I look beautiful enough anymore?

And here was my response.
You don’t have to put makeup on to look beautiful, sure it was made for that reason some females think they need it and it helps with reassurance when they are complimented by their significant other, i.e. boyfriend, engaged partner, or spouse. However the beauty that makeup gives is only skin deep.

In reference a person can look  like the most beautiful person you have ever come across on the outside, but hold the ugliest, meanest heart that you might find.
There is a flip side to every story however,  there are those who don’t wear makeup and can be the most beautiful  person you would ever come across because of what is inside their heart.

Have you every read the introduction of a book and thought, I am not going to like this book. But read it anyway, only to find out it was the most intriguing book you have read up to that point, and now you are referring it to others you know. I know I have.

Now please don’t get me wrong there are those men out there who think there are everything to a woman, They have money, the build everything that a woman is looking for.
I didn’t want to use this terminology but in today society “Gods’ gift to women”. Believe me I use this term in this aspect only, but there are men that can be the same way they may look handsome or however a woman may describe a man, but sometimes, that man may have the ugliest heart that you can find. So I am not being a sexist here it is the same on both sides. In general if you are looking for the right and long lasting relationship don’t look at the outward appearance of a person look at whats on the inside.

Tornado The Flip

This post is the flip to Tornado:
As I started out The closer the storm got to the center of town, my wife and I still siting at the table going on about our business her watching tv shows on the computer or other projects. I could see her looking at me over the top of my screen, catching things such as this or out of the corner of my eye can be helpful, especially when you have someone giving you an evil look or just looking at you, makes me wonder what I did or didn’t do.

So as we sat here we started talking and the worried look came about her face. I talked to her and said that if we were going to die then it was are time to go, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to stay here and continue what I was doing. Soon her worried look disappeared as she slipped off into her movie again. Soon we heard that the storm had moved further north, northeast but yet it was heading towards areas where I had family so I called those family members to warn them. There was one family member that got short with me and she said.” I don’t want to talk to you right now “. I knew what she was doing so I let her continue she then said that she was getting prepared for the storm that was heading her way. I responded by saying that’s all I was calling for. Now let me explain my worry for this family member. She is mid 80s’ and lives alone, her husband had just passed away this year, and they had opened their doors to me when I was a teen. Only living with them for a year and a half. I called them mom and dad. In my life once someone allows someone like me to enter their home in the situation such as mine they are not only friend but parents for life.

Oh believe me out of my past comes one other set of parents who came in the same way. Oh don’t get me wrong my biological parents are still alive, and I have a close relationship with them and I called my father who lives further north and was also in the path of a nasty thunderstorm to warn him. My mother lives in town about five miles from me. Now I have picked up other friends I who have called mom and dad, funny situations occurred that caused those to start. I will have to get into more details later in another post.

Parents come in many forms, to protect you from the storms.
Storms consisting of raging downpours to the tossing of  lifes wars
They tell you everything is alright, atleast for tonight
They wake you up in the morning, send you off for schooling
Preparing you for a future life, with a loving wife.